Every now and again I make a conscious decision to take a break from trying to be better. No courses, no programs, no diets, no new regimes, no detoxes, no meditation retreats, none of it. Because I am someone who loves to learn and to grow and to challenge myself pulling back from these activities can feel a little counter intuitive, lazy even.
Don't I need to be cutting out gluten ( again) ? Don't i need to start that new meditation practice? Don't i need to sign up to that workshop?
The mind clings on but the heart softens. The mind feels lazy BUT the heart feels free.
I usually decide to take this kind of holiday when I am feeling like my brain has 10,000 tabs open. When I find myself feeling rushed or agitated or tired this type of holiday can be the best medicine.
Being able to just be. To feel contented with where you are at and to allow the time to process things without the clutter and long list of things to be better at.
There are emotions to be aware of when embarking on such an experiment.....
Resistance: This is the coming down phase where we have more time but less stuff. We miss the instant gratification that our addiction to self-improvement can provide. We feel sooooo LAZY.
Over-thinking: We start to question if this is really worth doing- or is it in itself another mode of self improvement ( the irony isn't lost on me) but we keep committing to just 'being' for a little bit longer.
Pockets of calm: The original feelings of being lazy start to transmute to less agitation and more calm. We feel clearer on the things that matter. It feels like a relief to be letting go and just not trying so god damn hard.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you ever let yourself off the self-improvement hamster wheel?