When I scroll my social media accounts and see everyone sharing their lives ( myself included) I am left with one thought - we all just want to be seen.
Being visible has been something that I have been working on over my 33 years. As an introvert the whole 'being seen' thing is quite a vulnerable and exposing place. I remember in school really being envious of the extroverted children who were so free in their expression, vocalising their emotions and every thought that entered their brains. I honestly thought I had some kind of problem. Why was I so quiet? Why did I feel so inhibited? Why were the loud children always given the most attention? If only I had known about the whole extrovert/ introvert thing!
Over the past 4 years I have actively been putting myself in the spotlight. This process of showing up really began when I studied photography and then went on to create my own photography business. Creating work for exhibitions, sharing my images and my written work felt scary and liberating all at once. But I have to admit - the work I shared was always highly curated and always strategically placed to avoid the least amount of vulnerability and the most amount of validation.
My work here at The Great Unravelling feels completely different. I feel much more open to being vulnerable and being okay with not getting it right. It has actually been a really healing experience to just back myself 100% rather than needing to have everything perfect. When you come into my space there are imperfections- spelling mistakes, typo's and clumsy words thrown onto a page. But to me it is more important to just get something out there , to share what feels good and to do what I am here to do which is to connect and create a space that is supportive, non-judgemental and open- hearted. A space that celebrates the simple pleasures in life but also honours the dark and sometimes harrowing struggles we all face.
I have a long way to go though, I still seek validation, I still want people to like me and I still compare myself to other successful women. I think we all do at some level. Yet despite all of this there is still that deep urge to show myself and to express my truth. And I know this because hiding is no longer an option for me. Hiding is unhealthy and makes me feel small. Hiding is not being of service to others in this community or in my relationships. Hiding does not make me happy.
I would love to chat more about this idea of visibility.
Are you showing up in your life?
Do you run from the spotlight like me or do you embrace exposing your raw and imperfect self?