WHO ARE YOU?
I’m Megan! Creator of The Anxious Poet, freak with a pen, crushing on spoken word art and having a serious love affair with poetry.
WHAT DOES THE CONCEPT OF UNRAVELLING MEAN TO YOU?
Unravelling to me actually feels quite beautiful.
It can be a slow process with moments of grief and sorrow but it feels like a necessary process too. I think we bound ourselves up so tightly with all the societal pressures to be a certain way or have achieved certain things by a specific age. It’s all bullshit of course, but we take it on board nonetheless. And then we beat ourselves up for not having it all together or getting it all done. To me unravelling is a necessary part of life. Let go and find your soul.
COULD YOU SHARE A STORY OF A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU HAVE UNRAVELLED?
I’ve been unravelling for the past few years actually. I had completely lost sight of who I was and what I wanted for my life. I was drinking heavily, smoking, eating terribly and working in a job that was no where near my zone of genius.
It all came crashing down in the form of a seriously scary panic attack. I thought I was dying.
My anxiety got so intense after that with many more frightening attacks. I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder.
And I began to unravel. It was scary at first but then I realised it was the wake up call I needed. My life needed to change. I had to unravel. And I had to let go to find out who I really was and what I was truly made of.
I stopped filling up the gaping hole in my life with all the methods of escapism and sat down with myself for a good year. Just stripped everything back and slowly asked my old soul what it is I really wanted and how we could get there.
And I think to me that is what unravelling is all about, removing the labels you have placed upon yourself or attached to from others, and just find out who you really are, without all the noise. Who are you when it is just you in the dark? Who are you when everything else is blocked out and everyone else’s needs are not at the forefront of your mind? Who are you in that split second when you feel that thing that lights your soul on fire? Who are you then?
These questions are the hallmark of unravelling, and that is why it such a beautifully poignant concept.
WHAT LESSONS DID YOU LEARN THROUGH THIS UNRAVELLING PROCESS?
I learned that letting go is scary but so very worthwhile.
I learned that whilst it is endearing and important to have support, you need to know that you are brave enough to back yourself when no one else will.
I learned that we take on so so much of others people’s stuff. When you do unravel ask
yourself, “is this really my burden to bear?”.
I learned that when you literally have nothing, you realise you have so much.
I learned that all the beauty of this world is found in moments. A cup of tea with your mum. A warm smile. Making your friends laugh. A picnic in the sun with your beloved. The smell of the pages of a gloriously old book.
HOW DID YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF DURING THIS TIME?
I was extremely patient with myself. Which is quite interesting because I have never been a very patient person. But I knew it was exactly what I needed at the time. Pushing myself just wasn’t an option. I’d been doing that albeit in the wrong direction for so long, I was exhausted. I needed time and space, to learn to love myself again and rediscover my long forgotten heart’s desires.
There was a lot of meditation. A lot of time spent alone writing. A lot of time healing some unresolved hurt. A lot of time creating for the sake of my soul. And all of this is still ongoing.
Perhaps I’ll forever be unravelling. Learning more about myself and how I wish to interact and be in this world, shedding layers as I go. Making room for more love and acceptance.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO THIS MOMENT OF UNRAVELLING?
Be kinder to yourself.
I was filled with so much hurt that I would take it all out on myself. We can be so cruel with our self talk, it is astonishing. I would say things like “You’re a worthless piece of shit.
Nobody likes you. You’re a waste of space. No one really gives a shit about you.”
So incredibly hurtful. And powerful. Imagine of you said that everyday to someone. How badly do you think it would affect them over time? How long would it take until they started believing those cruel words? Two days, three weeks. A year? What about seven years?
What effect could that have on you if you said that to yourself everyday for seven years?
Its painful for me to admit to such negative self talk, but I would like to share it incase anyone else may be feeling so lost and lonely that they speak to themselves in this way too.
None of these things are true. They are not even remotely close to the truth about the kind of person you are.
You are beautiful and wise and strong. Perhaps you have forgotten but I promise that you are. All you need is time. Time to forgive yourself for being your own worst enemy. And the courage to decide that you are ready to be there for yourself and start slowly removing the
layers of pain and isolation that you have built up around yourself over the years. You are worth so much more than you have been giving yourself. Be kinder. You are worth all the loving kindness in the world.
WHAT BIG DREAMS DO YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW?
Oooh so many.
I am writing two books! Creating a meditation to accompany my ebook Exhale. Working on some spoken word goodness. Saving up to do some more travelling. And developing even more creative resources for my exquisite tribe.
One of which is INK + FIRE Your free 7 day writing course to reignite your passion for prose. If you have lost your love affair with words or are looking to deepen your connection to your soulspeak, let this resource be your creative wildfire.
HOW CAN PEOPLE FOLLOW YOUR BIZ/WORK?
People can join me at The Anxious Poet where I use writing as a tool to explore and embrace my anxiety and help others to explore and embrace their own. Every soul has something to say and I’m a big believer that anxiety has a message for us. You’ve just got to have the courage to tune in and dig deep. I encourage people to shed their layers, because the real magic is in our depths, not our labels. I have also created The Anxious Poet Podcast where we talk about fear and roar our truths. I share some creative wisdom and soul words