WHO ARE YOU?
I am a thirty year old student and creative soul, working towards achieving my dreams. I am studying animal health, love reading and writing, and making creative messes with my hands.
WHAT DOES UNRAVELLING MEAN TO YOU?
When I think of unravelling, I envisage a tangled mess- something you didn't intend to have happen, but as a result of life's tumbling and rollings...occurs nonetheless. The result can be a little messy and frustrating but, with patience, time and care things can be sorted into their proper and, quite often, improved order.
COULD YOU TELL US ABOUT A TIME WHEN YOU HAVE UNRAVELLED?
I have had a number of unravellings in my life, but the most significant was my divorce.
I got married very young- 3 months before my twenty first birthday. I thought I was marrying my best friend, someone I had grown up with, someone who saw me for ME and loved me as a result. Things didn't turn out quite the way I thought...
His insecurities and selfishness slowly sucked me dry on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. I began believing that I was the problem. I put on a happy mask but inside I was crying continually. I felt unloved, unwanted, useless. But one day I woke up. I realised that life is about joy and that no matter what my surroundings or situation, I could have that joy. I tried hard to help my husband but eventually realised that you cannot save those that don't want to be saved. I, however, was desperate for saving. So I saved myself.
After almost 7 years of marriage I walked away almost empty handed but I knew I was doing what was best for me. I felt like a bird set free from a cage- finally able to spread my wings, feel the sunlight on my feathers and the wind beneath me, bouying me up to happier heights.
I wondered WHY.... It all seemed so senseless. Something that had the potential to be so beautiful was just thrown away for selfishness. But I decided that something beautiful could still be made from the messy remains that were me. I chose to forgive and practice having a grateful heart despite my heartache and loss. I chose to piece my heart back together and learned to love the cracks. And I chose to reach out to others who were walking hard paths so that they never had to experience the loneliness I felt. And you know what? Reaching out to others helped me heal. I share my story and insights and in return I receive acceptance and love and understanding. And travelling companions to walk life's winding road with.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN THROUGH THIS UNRAVELLING?
I learned that we are never alone. All we need is to reach out to others and we'll be surprised at how many there are who understand .
I learned that suffering and heartache cracks us open and allows the light within us to shine out to other weary travellers searching for guidance. It also allows the light emitting from others to get inside our souls and add a unique illumination.
I learned that gratitude is the most healing of all. No matter what, there is always much to be grateful for.
Prayer, reading my scriptures and daily recording the many things I had to be grateful for. It helped me to see the Lord's hand in my life and to recognise the many tender mercies He bestowed upon me daily.
WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME?
Hang in there. You are not alone. I know this hurts but someday soon you will be able to ease the heartache and loneliness of others because of your experiences. You are worthy and loved, and you can rise above any and all challenges. Don't be so damn proud- speak up, speak out, tell the truth that is inside your heart. Those that love you will support you and those that don't. ..? Well, you're better off without them.